Who I Help
Do any of these sound like you?
I’ve spent my life being sensitive to the needs of others and have never advocated for what I want. I’m getting older and am feeling the pressure to figure this out before it’s too late.
I’m a guitar player in a few gigging bands in the city. I often feel like my contributions aren’t heard or appreciated. I know I’ve got good chops, and I know I’m important to the success of these groups, so why do the others undercut me? I feel devalued, kind of depressed and I realize I sometimes overdo it with the drink as a way to cope.
I’m convinced my partner is cheating on me and I don’t really know what to do about it. I’m feeling very hurt and angry. This isn’t the first time this has happened and I’m beginning to think there’s something wrong with me. I hate this feeling.
I grew up with a single father who was depressed and abused drugs to cope with a sad life. I think I learned how to take care of him and now that I’m getting into relationships, I’m realizing I don’t really know how to take care of myself. This leaves me feeling helpless and confused.
We fight constantly and it’s getting to the point where we are thinking about splitting up. We used to have great sex and could share affection spontaneously. Now the only activity we share is quietly watching TV together. Why can’t he be more considerate of me and pick up his clothes and clean the kitchen? Why can’t she get off my back and be more supportive?
When I was younger, I knew there was something different about me. I never fit in to the groups at school and even my parents didn’t really get me. I hate myself sometimes, I hate most people and I feel like there’s little chance for me. Maybe you’re my last hope.
I’ve been in grad school for what seems years now and I can’t seem to finish my dissertation. It’s an albatross that lords over the rest of my life. My girlfriend is fed up with my dark moods and I’m feeling incredibly stuck and depressed. I sometimes wish I had more of a mentor in my life.
I’m paralyzed by worry. I have such a hard time making simple decisions for fear of the consequences. How do other people take the risks they do? I wish I could break out of the box I’m in and breathe a little.
I feel like an “only” at my job because of the color of my skin. I know I’m smart, dedicated and engaged in my career path, but living in a white dominant culture is crushing my spirit. I feel like very few people understand my experience and this leaves me feeling depressed and alone.
My Approach
Very different people* with a range of unique problems and concerns have found our work together to be meaningful and transformative. Together we discover how your unique set of experiences has both shaped who you are, how it has contributed in part to your particular problem and how it impacts on your relationships with others. Feeling better in the short term might require learning tools to better cope with anxiety or depression. In the long term, it may mean enhancing a flagging self-esteem through the exploration and the challenging of thwarted ambitions and goals. Or, it might mean understanding how you developed ways of surviving in the world which were previously adaptive and necessary, but now have become too rigid and leave you feeling stuck in old patterns. Whatever your unique set of concerns may be, understanding the context of how you became who you are and seeing a clearer path to who you might like to become will be the focus of our work together. I look forward to have the opportunity to know you and help you, too.
*To maintain confidentiality, these are composites of people I’ve helped.